Category Archives: How to get a date

Top 9 Rules for Christian Dating

back in my dating days... Jammie and I just celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary!!

back in my dating days… Jammie and I just celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary!!

There’s a lot of well-intentioned advice out there for Christians that want to date.  A lot of it is drab, predictable and almost impossible to follow.  Some say things like “don’t kiss before marriage” or “don’t date before marriage”.  Interesting theories that may sell some books but hardly the road that it makes sense to follow.  Christian dating is different from regular dating for a lot of reasons.  The main point is, Christian dating is about thinking about following God’s will for your life.  Here are the Top 9 Rules of Christian Dating:

1)  Put God first – The first rule of Christian dating is obviously to keep God first.  What does that mean?  Well here’s a simple strategy:  Ask God to lead you in your dating decisions, pray over each of them and follow the indications you get, even the subtle ones.

2)  Find a Christian Date – Here’s a no-brainer to add to the list of Christian dating rules:  find another Christian to date.  There are a lot of attractive people out there and it can be hard to pick.  Making sure you pick a Christian is a good first step if you want to be compatible

3)  Approach it like a Christian courtship – this is not about sex – As much as all of us want to have sex, this is not the goal in Christian dating.  Sex is for marriage.  That may sound very old school but there is reason the Bible saves sex for marriage:  it is the safest (and most exciting) place to enjoy sex and ensure mutual respect.  So set some ground rules in dating and don’t have sex.  This will keep you thinking straight and you’ll be able to make better decisions than if all you are thinking about is sex all the time.

4)  Put the other person before yourself – Don’t be selfish.  Put the other person first.  Christian dating isn’t just about you.  It is about putting God first and then making the other person before you.  Treat them well.  Love them in more than just a romantic way.  Get all 1 Corinthians 13 about it.

5)  Keep it light – One mistake people make in Christian dating is that they think they have to get super serious quickly.  But there is no need to do that.  Go slowly, laugh, have a good time and enjoy each others’ company.   There is plenty of time to get serious later but at first you are checking things out.

6)  Don’t use the other person – The previous Christian dating rule wasn’t about being irresponsible or using the other person.  Don’t date anyone to use them as a physical or emotional outlet.  Treat them the way you want to be treated.

7)  Keep the end in mind – Think about the desired end. If you are looking to eventually get married, use that as a guide for your decisions in Christian dating.  Pick someone that you really feel God is guiding you to marry.  Don’t just think short term.

8)  Be open about your intentions – Being all cagey and confusing is not a good strategy.  Christian dating rule number 8 is “be open”.  This doesn’t mean you have to tell someone you want to marry them on the first date.  But it does mean being careful not to lead them on.  If things are developing nicely, talk about next steps…

9)  Take the next step – Finally, you want to take the next step.  Once you have dated and gotten to know the other person, do not wallow in indecision.  Be brave enough to take the next step.  Engagement and marriage are beautiful things and not to be feared.  Do it!!

Have any tips or additional rules for Christian dating?  Add them in the comment section..

How to get a date with someone from a different country – 5 Tips

I grew up all over the world and I know a lot of happy international couples.  Jammie and I are one of them.  Often people wonder where to start.  How do you get a date with someone from a different country.  Here are four steps:

1)  Go to where the people are – If you want to start dating in-person (as opposed to online), go to where the people are.  If you are interested in dating someone of a certain nationality or culture, go to where you’ll find high concentrations of them – certain parts of town, specific restaurants, cultural centers, cultural fairs, churches, temples, etc.  Mix and mingle.  Don’t just go once.  Become a known entity.  You might even want to volunteer for a service project or sign up for a class so that you get a lot of exposure to the right groups of people.  It is easier to get a date when you are a known, appreciated entity than when you are walking up cold to someone in a coffee shop.

2)  Hop online – Prefer online?  That works too.  But be sure to craft an honest, attractive personal profile on the reputable dating site / social media platform that you use.  Avoid anyone that asks for money and set up a Skype chat as soon as possible to make sure the person is real and that they are interesting to talk to.

3) Do some basic cultural recon – Know the basics about your future date’s culture.  You want to avoid obvious mistakes and rack up any brownie points.

4)  Ask for the date! – If you are a guy, you don’t want to delay forever.  Ask for the date and seal the deal.  If you are a woman, find out what might be culturally appropriate.  You can always find clues that signal that you are available.

5)  Follow up – Once you land your date, follow up. Give it a few days but don’t be lame.  A quick “thank you” call won’t hurt.  It might even set you up for date #2.